I'd Like to Tell You a Story
Once upon a time, there was a girl who had life all figured out. She was graduating High School as a Valedictorian. She had more friends than she had time to see. She was well respected at her church and very popular among the other youth group kids. She was going to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo as a Psychology major. She was convinced that she was meant to be a Clinical Psychologist, because she already told everyone the right thing to do and figured she might as well get paid for it. She was going to be out of college in three years, and well on her way to her PhD. She was going to have an excellent life, a private practice, travel the world, and be the most impressive human she could possibly be. She would achieve, she always had, and she would be the best.
After a tearful summer of goodbyes, the girl found herself a freshman at Cal Poly. And soon, her very perfect and beautifully composed world began to decompose. Her roommates started the year as her closest friends, but soon poison found its way into their home. They fell prey to freshman year and all the darkness-sold-as-happiness that comes with, and she began to resent them. She began to judge them. And they began to resent her. She disapproved of the way her best friends from home were living and spared no feelings in letting it be known. She fought with her parents. She complained about the unfairness of it all and the fact that she was not having the amazing time everyone else seemed to be. In no time at all what began as bitterness had become war. Words were said that cut deeply. The girl and her roommates were wounded. What began as their home was just four walls that held four broken people. Some days were better than others. Some nights she would talk with one of the girls who she thought was lower than her. And one of those nights, she finally heard God.
His voice did not thunder. It was quiet a first. A whisper, really. A soft thought, "I wish I was more like her..."
She could not believe what she had just heard in her heart. She shook it off. After all, how could she possibly wish to be more like the drunken harlot of a roommate she had just been speaking to? But it would not be quieted, "I wish I was more like her." And then, then she really heard it. It was a feeling, a sort of deep, unarguable knowing in her soul.
"She loves people better than you."
With a sort of brutal impact, with the sort of sudden knowing that renders gravity powerless, the fog in which she had lived her life until that moment evaporated. And for the first time, she saw herself clearly. The girl was met with the harsh reality that she was not who she had believed to be. She was not brighter, more brilliant, more worthy, or simply more than anyone else. She was a prideful, judgmental, and truly weary sinner. And she really, really needed forgiveness. She really needed Jesus.
And so she finally began to understand that her life's destruction was not a casualty of war with people, but rather war with God. Because all He had wanted was to show her the difference between pride and truth, and reclaim her heart as His own, but all she had wanted was to keep Him stored away like a little bit of spare money for a rainy day. She had been in charge. She had been her own god. She had only needed Him in the darkest of times. She had patted Him on the head as one does a child and carried on as her own master. She had been wrong.
And she finally understood that she had been prideful. Not an innocent sort of pride, like a spelling test on the refrigerator pride. No. She had been a destructive sort of prideful. She had inflicted true and lasting pain out of pride. She had been functioning in a false reality. She had been hurtful. She had been condescending. She had been judgmental. And she had been so far from living like Jesus. She had looked so different than His son. And all those people she had hurt suddenly began to look more and more like Jesus to her. They loved people better. They accepted. They laughed with the joyful and mourned with the broken. She began to learn. She apologized to her roommates for the year. She apologized to her best friends for their youth. She apologized to her brothers. She was grieving her wasted years. And she was finally ready to be regrown.
Her first year ended with a trip to Japan. So many lovely and beautiful people teamed up to get her there. And she learned and felt and saw so much. Her heart grew to include the souls of people all over the world - People wearing different flesh and speaking with different tongues but longing for the same truth. She came home and began her second year hoping for a sort of healing. And God rebuilt her. He blessed her with family, friends, and fellowship. He blessed her with healing in relationships. She joined a Bible Study. She learned so much about so many things. She became a quieter and gentler soul. God found her in her selfishness and fought for her. He won her. She was His anew. And so, she grew.
Third year came. She led a Bible Study with her roommate from her freshman year, both of whom God had redeemed. She joined the Global Connect team in SLO Cru. She took a Christianity class. She took a class on global ministry and the state of the world. She became convinced that her purpose would be to give souls around the planet the chance to experience the freedom she had found in Christ. She was humbled. She was prepared to go wherever the Spirit would lead. She would stay. She would go. She would wait. She made no plans. As summer approached and she started to near the end of her time as a student, she did not look into her future. And with a life like a vapor, she waited on the Lord.
He showed up. And this is where the story really gets good.
After a tearful summer of goodbyes, the girl found herself a freshman at Cal Poly. And soon, her very perfect and beautifully composed world began to decompose. Her roommates started the year as her closest friends, but soon poison found its way into their home. They fell prey to freshman year and all the darkness-sold-as-happiness that comes with, and she began to resent them. She began to judge them. And they began to resent her. She disapproved of the way her best friends from home were living and spared no feelings in letting it be known. She fought with her parents. She complained about the unfairness of it all and the fact that she was not having the amazing time everyone else seemed to be. In no time at all what began as bitterness had become war. Words were said that cut deeply. The girl and her roommates were wounded. What began as their home was just four walls that held four broken people. Some days were better than others. Some nights she would talk with one of the girls who she thought was lower than her. And one of those nights, she finally heard God.
His voice did not thunder. It was quiet a first. A whisper, really. A soft thought, "I wish I was more like her..."
She could not believe what she had just heard in her heart. She shook it off. After all, how could she possibly wish to be more like the drunken harlot of a roommate she had just been speaking to? But it would not be quieted, "I wish I was more like her." And then, then she really heard it. It was a feeling, a sort of deep, unarguable knowing in her soul.
"She loves people better than you."
With a sort of brutal impact, with the sort of sudden knowing that renders gravity powerless, the fog in which she had lived her life until that moment evaporated. And for the first time, she saw herself clearly. The girl was met with the harsh reality that she was not who she had believed to be. She was not brighter, more brilliant, more worthy, or simply more than anyone else. She was a prideful, judgmental, and truly weary sinner. And she really, really needed forgiveness. She really needed Jesus.
And so she finally began to understand that her life's destruction was not a casualty of war with people, but rather war with God. Because all He had wanted was to show her the difference between pride and truth, and reclaim her heart as His own, but all she had wanted was to keep Him stored away like a little bit of spare money for a rainy day. She had been in charge. She had been her own god. She had only needed Him in the darkest of times. She had patted Him on the head as one does a child and carried on as her own master. She had been wrong.
And she finally understood that she had been prideful. Not an innocent sort of pride, like a spelling test on the refrigerator pride. No. She had been a destructive sort of prideful. She had inflicted true and lasting pain out of pride. She had been functioning in a false reality. She had been hurtful. She had been condescending. She had been judgmental. And she had been so far from living like Jesus. She had looked so different than His son. And all those people she had hurt suddenly began to look more and more like Jesus to her. They loved people better. They accepted. They laughed with the joyful and mourned with the broken. She began to learn. She apologized to her roommates for the year. She apologized to her best friends for their youth. She apologized to her brothers. She was grieving her wasted years. And she was finally ready to be regrown.
Her first year ended with a trip to Japan. So many lovely and beautiful people teamed up to get her there. And she learned and felt and saw so much. Her heart grew to include the souls of people all over the world - People wearing different flesh and speaking with different tongues but longing for the same truth. She came home and began her second year hoping for a sort of healing. And God rebuilt her. He blessed her with family, friends, and fellowship. He blessed her with healing in relationships. She joined a Bible Study. She learned so much about so many things. She became a quieter and gentler soul. God found her in her selfishness and fought for her. He won her. She was His anew. And so, she grew.
Third year came. She led a Bible Study with her roommate from her freshman year, both of whom God had redeemed. She joined the Global Connect team in SLO Cru. She took a Christianity class. She took a class on global ministry and the state of the world. She became convinced that her purpose would be to give souls around the planet the chance to experience the freedom she had found in Christ. She was humbled. She was prepared to go wherever the Spirit would lead. She would stay. She would go. She would wait. She made no plans. As summer approached and she started to near the end of her time as a student, she did not look into her future. And with a life like a vapor, she waited on the Lord.
He showed up. And this is where the story really gets good.
